No need to go all the way to death forest at the bottom of Mount Fuji to kill thyself…Tobu Tojo furnishes the desperate, a faster but messier than hanging ticket to Hell – TJ the Lethal Express!
Sorry desperate folks , the Lethal Express is off on Sundays . Guess you gotta take it easy before the JUMP .
It trampled to pieces some schmuck that acting in accordance with Itabashi Ward rules of engagement, decided not to wait for the railcrossing
bamboo to lift and tried to cross to the other side of the rails.
There goes another one… The very same rail crossing between Kami Itabashi and Tokiwadai. Time : 8:07 pm on Thursday 29th April 2010.
How the Hell do I know all this since my cage isnt that near the rail tracks? Well as it happens I was crossing from where the accident happened on my way to the Ito Yokado supermarket. The sound of the thump and short screams plus the train conductor hitting the brakes told me all. No way anybody could survive that impact. Not even a fat lard like Sumo wrestler.
Itabashians are a hard bunch. As soon as the train stopped the guy nearest to me on a bicycle murmered rather loud : Mada Ka ? ( again?! ). Within minutes, as the since the staves wouldn’t lift and the bells never stopped ringing, an old geeser very deliberately ducked under the bamboo and ever so slow without hesitating nor saying a word crossed to the other side. Suddenly others did the same. Bicycles, scooters and more people started to cross the rail tracks. It’s as if they knew it would be useless to wait for miracles and the gates to open.
8:22. Finally the fire squad cars and an ambulance passed nearby with sirens at full power. By then my railcrossing was near empty of people except for yours trully and some drunken arse still holding a good sized Sapporo beer can. The cars had gone: they just turned around in good order.
Finally a policeman on his bicycle passed by, took a look at me and the drunk , whispered in his radio and told me to cross the rails cos for a while, no trains were passing. The drunk just sat on the side walk mumbling and the cop got off of his chariot to wait for any other cars to come by and send them to their return point. I continued my short journey to the supermarket just in time to film a panda police car speeding by and in tow with the ” meat wagon ” meaning the coroner’s van.
This simply meant : Another one bit the dust.
Twice a month a person is trampled to bits by the nicknamed Lethal Express that leaves every half hour between 5pm and 8:30 pm from Ikebukuro station towards Saitama ( except Sundays and public holidays ) . That useless murdering piece of crap kills more Itabashians a month than road kills. The ripple effect causes thick congestioning crowds of returning people since it is during rush hour. Tobu won’t stop
the lethal express. No way. What is a few road kill twats, killed like the big rat I found decomposing on the same tracks a couple of years ago, compared to a daily dose of a couple of million yen?
NO WAY !!
The Lethal Express WILL go on !!
Is it worth a few lives a month to transport hicks back to their shacks and sleeping towns a few minutes faster ?
Tobu Tojo Line used to haul s$it and piss from Edo to the paddies around the Itabashi , Saitama . Ever wondered why the station masters and staff’s uniforms are the color of s$it ? This way the splashing goo from the moving trains stains wouldn’t show from afar . Kikkoman Soy Sauce also used the Tobu to haul their sauce into Edo .
Now , the station attendants better change their uniforms to a mixed color of blood and gore .
S%it happens .
It is true that Itabashians are pig headed and hate to wait too long for the rail crossings lights to stop and the bamboo staff to rise. Almost like Osakans. Both are SEKACHI or impatient when dealing with traffic lights and of course rail road crossings but Tobu Tojo line admin and cleaning crews in tandem with the coroner and cops are getting FAST in cleaning the mess. They went from a slow 30 to 50 minutes ( depending where the bits and pieces flew or the number of road kill in one go ) to a mere 22 minutes it took for the meat wagon and fire truck to wash the blood and gore away. Then it is business as usual . The only big fuss was when a rare brave J cop named Miyamoto tried to help some neurotic old twat from jumping in front of a train in that very same Tobu Tojo Line and got killed. The twat was left unscratched with nothing but ” who am I , where am I selective amnesia ” bout .
Fanfare, school brats, some of them used to flip the bird when ridding two on a bike( futaketsu nori in Japanese ) , to the same cop Miyamoto, an art object was stuck by the koban and even a very low level television soap opera showed at prime time ( J cops as a rule always move in pairs to scared to move alone , I always wondered why Miyamoto’s pal never showed neither on the news nor in the terebi drama ) . I imagine if it was a gaijin and a one legged rascal like yours truly, not as much as a comment on how the rail crossing killed about nine disabled people on wheelchairs ( rest assured, not all in the Tobu Tojo Line perimeter ) annually. Disabled are expendable and thus who gives a flying f$&k?
Wonder if according to the Lethal Express pattern the next one getting it will be in two weeks time from today. Could be earlier because after Golden Week people are dazed and tired from all that razmataz while going visiting GiGi and BaBa in the countryside and had to put up with a 50 kms traffic jam or overbooked bullet trains . Thursday April 29th is a national holiday that used to commemorate the old fart Hirohito Showa Emperor’s birthday. Another one is gonna bite the dust soon and will go on and on till some big shot relative finally gets tramped to death . Useless to say, between the same Kami Itabashi / Oyama area .
KokoDake No Hanashi .